Why am I feeling like this?

What I am feeling is so wrong right now.  I am only 16, but I still feel this way.  I see them everywhere, and can't help thinking what life for me would be like if I had one.  I see people carrying them inside, and think to myself, that could be me.  But I know that it's wrong, and I shouldn't even be thinking about it at this age.  Although, I feel ready, and I have felt that way for a long time.  It's not good, but I can't help it.  Ohhhh I'm such a muddle :(